The Ramones on Defense

Principles of self-defense are so easy, The Ramones can sing them to you. Here's four simple rules to keep you out of trouble based on "Commando". Thanks to Joey, Johnny, and Dee Dee. Hey, ho, let's go.

First rule is: The laws of Germany
Be familiar with state and local laws regarding "castle doctrine", concealed carry, and open carry. Also, know what it takes to legally transport your firearms. Know the laws and follow them. Even the dumb ones (no concealed carry on college campuses or for soldiers on post--that worked out great, right V-Tech and Ft. Hood?).

Second rule is: Be nice to mommy.
Of course you should be nice to your mother. Be polite to other people as well...until it is time to stop being polite.

Third rule is: Don't talk to commies.
Don't talk to commies or other lower forms of life. Be careful with whom you associate. If you and your buddy get pulled over and he has an ounce of pot in his sock, you're both going downtown. And if you're carrying concealed at the time, you just committed a felony! (see rule 1) Get better friends.

Fourth rule is: Eat kosher salamis.
Watch what you eat and exercise! If your body is in good shape, the better your odds of surviving a self-defense situation (even one that doesn't need a gun). The better shape you're in, the more stress you can handle. If your gut is full of sticky buns and energy drinks, you may be in trouble. Eat kosher salamis instead.

Learn it, live it, love it.